We like to eat

Verve

I am wondering if there is something wrong with me, in that I'll leave my boyfriend downstairs watching August Rush so I can dork around on the internet - namely YouTube, so as to watch clips of the most disturbing scenes of the Saw movies.

I've no faith in frou frou.

I had quite possibly the best sushi in Los Angeles tonight, shared over a bottle of Kurosawa sake.

This weekend is already exceeding expectations.

(expect nothing; leave happy)

Good to go

This week has been something else. Internal, external stuff. I've been busy with everything. But I've gotten so much done.

Last night, the night before, and I believe even the night before that, I was so tired that I must have drifted out of consciousness without falling asleep; it felt like I was drunk without a thing having passed my lips (except for Fresca). It's just been an off week, but it's almost over. I don't know if I've been more relieved.

Tomorrow afternoon I'm thinking of having lunch with my ex/good friend, who I don't refer to as an ex except when emphasizing that it's possible for one to be good friends with someone they used to have rampant sex with (there was a relationship somewhere in there, as well). What a shame and waste of invested time, to throw someone away because of a break-up, merely because of the world's trend in doing so. Last time I heard, break-ups aren't synonymous with death, so unless the other person was so misguided that they took on the role of asshole without realization, I don't have a verifiable reason to give someone up just because a dynamic has changed.

Not much to report other than I'm doing pretty well in school, and the writing is going well. And I'm welcoming sleep with open arms, like, right now. The rest of the weekend will be busy - my squid's last in San Clemente - but I'm looking forward to sleeping in on Saturday. Maybe we'll even get to sleep in Sunday. Oh God, just the thought of sleep is right up there with food and all other physical satiations. I never understood it until now - but I'm always saying that about something.

Lazing on a Friday afternoon

I enjoy getting Fridays off early from my day job. If it were any other day but today, I'd have nearly two hours left of playing corporate Mother, makeshift therapist, and all-sorts defuser to anyone who reached my extension. I was talking with my friend last night [for a longer time than realized] about how I need to have faith in myself to feel better about the things that stress me out. We both agreed that I need to learn how to relax. I know how to relax, but my horoscope from Free Will Astrology advised me of something somewhat interesting:

"Writing in the magazine sub-TERRAIN, John More makes the following declaration: "Captains of industry, great generals, artists of genius, even politicians, are often just people who have discovered that alcohol can enable them to make economic, tactical, creative, or political decisions whose implications would paralyze a sober individual." Your assignment, Capricorn, is to find an alcohol-free way to make such a decision. It's time for you to summon visionary courage from your soul, not from a bottle, as you catalyze complex blessings that will ripple through your future for a long time."

Good points, but blah blah blah. I don't drink a lot. A two-liter of Stoli lasts me a good two months. I think the sole reason I drink is to slow my mind the fuck down. I'm analyzing and wondering at every moment of the day: "Hmm, coffee stains on my desk"; "If I have chocolate pudding at 3pm, then I must say no to soy ice cream later on"; "Why did I buy this InTouch?"; "Must clean and exercise before Steven comes over"; "Must do some writing this weekend"; "Shit, I didn't clean out the cat box" - etc., et cetera, and so on. At the end of my day I've done everything that I can fit in - but somehow my brain won't shut up.

Therefore: music, white noise machine, television, or Stoli in moderation. I'm a lush with most things but downers.

So that's my brain, in a braincase nutshell. The same brain that is anticipating Halloweentime at Disneyland on September 26th. I am so excited. While walking from work to class yesterday afternoon I waltzed on by the to-be pumpkin patch, whose yellow leaves will soon lead to bright orange pumpkins before long. What would Linus do?

Reminds me: last year I watching It's the Great Pumpkin, Charlie Brown while at the Bob Hope Airport heading to New York. I'm due for another trip in two months; best purchase a ticket before time inches closer and prices inch higher. Autumn in New York - I don't think there's a better time.

It takes very little to please the hell out of me.

When September ends

I am looking forward to October already. October is pretty much where every day is a holiday. I LOVE October. But September isn't bad so far. We are coming up swiftly upon autumn. The school year has started, meaning I'm to be a lot more busy than usual, but that's a good thing. The more busy, the more I'm moving forward and getting things done. The more I'm building my portfolio and getting experience.

I had my review at work. I've been in my current position for a year, with the company for two. I don't know how much of a raise I'll be getting, but any raise is a good one these days - any day. As long as there is school to pay for, any 'extra' money is a lifesaver until I win the Lottery.

My boyfriend and I buy Lottery tickets maybe once every two weeks. Just because the idea of winning is such a fun feeling, even if you don't win. Just imagining what you would do with all that cash is, well - it's enough to keep going. Not because of the Lottery, I mean. Because of your own hard work and the chance that you might be able to make that happen for yourself. That you can retire perhaps when you're 55. That you could buy that six-plex by the beach and have your friends rent it in the summer or winter. That gas wouldn't be an issue because you'd have a private helicopter or something ridiculous. It's just a pipe dream, but it's fun to think about. If I won, I would make school and writing my full-time job. I would 'work' because I 'wanted to', not because I had to. I'd get a few cosmetic touch-ups (wouldn't we all?). I'd buy a Birkin bag - after I'd freakin' save. I've gotten really great at that, and have built up good credit, too. I'd like to think I wouldn't go mad.

It's just a fun idea to toss around. Living in this capitalistic society, it's bound to happen.

So life's been good. I'm always looking for something better.

But the established goodness is working out fine for now.

No kidding

On the bus ride in to work I found myself looking forward to the weekend. Tomorrow at a little after 5:00 pm, I'll be south-bound on a Pacific Surfliner to spend said weekend with my boyfriend, who will soon be moving from the shore to the foothills to be closer to work. Until then, waking up to a misty marine layer on Saturday and Sunday mornings is more than enough prize to behold at the end of the week.

We all need a little something. Daily somethings, for instance: sunlight picking up the green in a new leaf; the sound of nothing; a hot shower; an apropos text message. Good sushi for lunch, mango milk chews after 2:00 pm, green tea boba on the weekends. Et cetera.

The best things in life are free, yes. I truly believe there are plenty of delights that money can't buy. Still, it won't kill me to have a twenty in the event that I'm wrong.