Atony

I tried my hand at fasting today for Yom Kippur. My boyfriend's Jewish, and to be honest it's because of him that I'm aiming to observe holidays outside of my culture, because one of these days I'd like to consider myself a citizen of the world - more so than I do now - and relate to others outside of my non-traditional Christian upbringing. That said, I made it through with two cups of tea, broth, and water with electrolytes - 'cause I'm not converted yet. Or ever. I'm not to belong to one faith anymore. I'll elaborate on such things eventually, but for now, let's reflect.

I was staaarrrving this afternoon. Like, light-headed and blissfully delusional. I so wanted sushi. But stress, where was stress today? Not in the vicinity by any means. I might as well have been buzzed on [insert downer here].

But after a while I forgot about the physical and thought about the things I'm sorry for - like withholding food for vanity's sake. Holding onto what I can't change. Envying things, thinking ill against people. Jumping to conclusions. Shooing my cats away. Not calling when I say I will. Half-assing things. Disappearing. Among other things. At the end of the day I wanted to be a better person. Pretty much that's how I started the day, too. I told my boyfriend this in the evening while heading to statistics class. He said, "Yep, that's about how you should feel".

Success.