Monday, December 29, 2008

Post-joytastic

Ah. Back to the grind.

The holidays were nice, I must admit. Christmas Eve meant dinner with my housemate's folks, her brother and his girlfriend, and her husband and baby. They are the coolest people in that they have me in like their own family. Those type of people are hard to come by...

Christmas day I woke up late, watched the Yule Log show while I did some writing; helped myself to an after noon nip at the cooking sherry, then headed to the movie theater with my brother to watch The Curious Case of Benjamin Button. With it being sold out, we resorted to watching The Spirit. Don't be fooled by the stylized commercials; that film is godawful. Don't waste your money.

I went back to work on Boxing Day, 'til 1:00 pm - our last of the last out-of-work-early Fridays. At its end I went home, wrapped presents (for our gift exchange to take place on Sunday), and made plans with my folks to head to Disneyland on Saturday at 7:00 am. They didn't arrive until 11:00 am. I was pissed, but by the time dinner came to a close at 8:30 pm and I had to leave, I was sorry to have to go.

Sunday's gift exchange resulted in a vintage HUSTLER t-shirt, a book on vicarious living, a bike light (with seven settings!) and bread mixes for me to bake this winter. Very satisfying. Sunday also had the nerve to test the limits of my patience towards my relationship with my boyfriend, but that led to a concerted making up session, and, well... the satisfaction that comes with that can never be argued with.

And here I am at my desk, on Monday morning. My younger brother and folks are still at the Happiest Place on Earth, and will be there until New Year's Eve. My boyfriend and his mother are heading to Oceanside and San Clemente Pier today. As for me, handholder and faux pas therapist, I'm looking forward to 5:00 pm, when I will be pedalling on home and settling in for the evening.

I'm so glad this will be yet another short week.

Our office won't be observing another holiday until Memorial Day.

Sunday, December 28, 2008

Temper, temper

envious
slighted
bothered
annoyed
temperamental

Arrested Development, take me away...

Monday, December 22, 2008

Offset the Grinch

It's officially the week of Christmas, and it still doesn't really feel like Christmas yet. It feels closer than ever before, what with the candy canes, the snow, the egg nog and gingerbread men - but it doesn't feel all holly jolly as it used to. I'm wondering if it ever did in the last few years, or if it was just my imagination. Steve and I went to Disneyland yesterday - so much fun. We saw the parade, got coffee and watched the chefs make candy canes at the Candy Palace - but we were so anxious over all the crowds that the Grinch in us crept up more than once. Ah, so aggravating. But I'll tell ya, there was no grander sight than the Christmas tree in Town Square - the star at the top of it, the presents below, all the while balls of silver and ... red and green. The planters were a sea of red poinsettias, and made for really good photos. What took me by surprise was what they did to it's a small world! - at 10:15pm all the lights in the Fantasyland area went off, and there were various holiday songs being played while a Christmas scene/Christmas theme was cast alongside the facade of it's a small world holiday!... and it was simply, absolutely fabulous. The thing is that I've been going to Disneyland since I was about 3 or 4, so I know the place like the back of my hand. But sometimes I go there and am pleasantly surprised. The aforementioned was a good example of that. A better example of that was the 50th anniversary of Disneyland's opening, and also the recent addition of Toy Story Mania at California Adventure. Absolutely stunning!

I suppose all that said leads into how important I think we should feel some sort of wonderment in whatever it is that we do. I don't know if it's entirely possible. All the time, ain't gonna happen - but it would be nice to embrace the wide-eyedness as long as it's still allowed to exist within us. I've felt a lot older than intended this year. Time to backpedal a few emotional decades.

I'm offering this simple phrase
To kids from 1 to 92
Although it's been said many times, many ways:
Merry Christmas to you

Sunday, December 14, 2008

Wine, woman, and gall

This weekend turned out a lot better than expected...

I'd intended on spending the better of the weekend with my boyfriend, but due to impromptu sickness on his end and an impending final on mine, it was decided that it'd be best that I stay home. Needless to say I was rather bummed. I recall heading home from work on Friday wanting to punch a wall, but eh - what are ya gonna do? That evening I studied, and watched the dog while my housemates headed to an annual corporate Christmas party. Saturday afternoon was full of studying as well, and a fair brunch at a kitschy eatery in Studio City. More studying occurred until I got an email follow-up about a Garden Party in Hollywood that I wasn't going to be able to attend, but since I was home I made sure to re-jump on the chance. EXITMUSIC was the band, and they are indeed a good listen. Incidentally I'll be writing about the experience shortly on BeatCrave, so be sure to check it out in the next coming days...

After the show I figured I'd go for dinner, perhaps at Fred 62 or somewhere else up Vermont, so I called my friend Erik, who was at a houseparty of sorts in his building. The gist of it ended up being that the party would start on the top floor, and would make its way steadily downward to the bottom floor. The building is four floors - I made it to floor two, and therefore made it through shots of tequila, mulled wine with cloves, a tequila sunrise, mojitos, sangria, and pseudo-white russians. I memory-banked a lot of new faces, and emitted sounds of amusement at each pit stop; however, my mind had the decency to black out when we got back to his apartment. I found it comforting upon waking this morning to be half-naked in bed with an old flame and know out of mutual respect there would be no residual nether-region soreness as the day would go along. It wasn't long afterward that my liver and brain began to hate me - until about noon today, until I quelled the resulting headache and nausea with poached eggs & salmon a la Madame Matisse.

This afternoon, I grocery-shopped in NOHO, walked home, and studied.

Not a bad weekend, for being completely and totally off-the-cuff.

Friday, December 12, 2008

Peek-a-boo

So it's not that I haven't been around. I've been around; I've just been busy. It's the end of the year, meaning the end of the semester, meaning finals next week. I'm almost done with general education work, which is both good and bad: good in that I'm almost done; bad in that the classes I need fill up quickly or aren't readily available. So I've been contending with that, taking a lighter load than usual, with the same level of stress. One of my professors hasn't been around for most of the term, so I'm freaking about next week's final (involving complex math). The other class (history) I will pass with flying colors. After this, I've at least one more [unwanted] semester to go, but it's better than another two years on the same campus. I'm ready for the next level.

In other news, Christmas presents to self are already taken care of - I bought a new wardrobe, a new computer, new shoes, and a new camera on various purposeful whims in the last few months, so I don't know what else I could ask for. WIth the exception of perhaps a swanky set of bed sheets, a cartilage piercing, or a crockpot, I really don't want anything else materially (although I'm saving for a Louis Vuitton purse when I get my BA; just saying).

Writing has been going really well - I'm happy to say that I'm going on seven months of experience [being the name we give to our mistakes], and I hope to keep it up in the same format for some time.

The one thing I could say needs working on lately is reconnecting with family - with my sister having moved to Nebraska, my brother out in New York, my other sister separated due to religious differences, and my folks & lil bro just in their own day-to-day, it's been difficult to genuinely connect on a regular basis. But it's interesting in that growing amicably away from them, I've grown a hell of a lot in the last five years. It's been incredibly sobering.

That's about it. My mind is a minefield of snippets.

Sunday, November 30, 2008

Home again

Can you tell that I didn't want to leave New York?

I love the city, always. The state, definitely. But it's my brother that makes my visits. If I were visiting him in Bumf*ck, NE, it would still be a treat. I miss him like -- well, like the deserts miss the rain.

A little belated, but I am thankful for the following:

my cats, Chloe and Alice
my chosen family (including squid)
my brothers Joshua and Joel, and sister Jessica
my nephew Matthew
my brother-in-law Craig
my folks
warm blankets
my bed
having a place to live
my developing sense of style
being able to write for the semi-masses
text messages
Gmail
JetBlue
my video iPod
black eyeliner
an operable transit system
the History channel
having a savings account
flip-flops
electricity
running water
libraries
this website
this one, too
specialty grocery, spice, & tea shops
200 canal street
Target super stores
higher education
"Yes We Can"
candied ginger
sales sales sales
the five senses

and everything in between

I hope it was a happy Thanksgiving (or day off, or weekend) for everyone.

Friday, November 21, 2008

New York, Day 7

Went to Kalustyan's today - bought an assortment of loose teas (moroccan mint, thai tea, and evening comfort [ginger & peppermint blend]), mint chocolate malted milk balls, medjool with "almonds" coconut & sugar, zaatar bread, and pistachio nougat.

Then I went to the Met, where I heavily perused the Roman and Greek art, and the European Sculpture courtyard. I love watching the artists do sketchwork of the various breathtaking pieces. It's all so incredible, skylights and all.

For the second time this week there was a forced detour on the subways (due to routine maintenance and police investigation), but I was able to maneuver and make it back to the abode - unscathed, but with knowledge on how to function by way of an alternative method, and without having to call a car. I owe it in part to being somewhat transit-savvy back home in Los Angeles. Which reminds me: when I get back to LA, I should probably find time to update this blog - it's been almost four weeks. I owe it to relative stresses piled so far up on each other that they finally collapsed. . . and it took a week(plus)-long vacation to get things settled.

When I come back home on Sunday, I'll have Monday off from work (day job; writing will resume).
I'll be in my cubicle on Tuesday.
Wednesday through Sunday, I will not.

Vacation (unplanned!) part two.

But for now (this evening), my brother and I will be going to the Russian & Turkish baths. . . maybe I'll splurge for a massage, but the regular treatments sound wonderful right about now.

Wednesday, November 19, 2008

New York: Day 5

(borrowed from my LiveJournal)

Omigosh, it's cold outside. And inside.

We went to Greeenwood Cemetery today, and only made it a few hours - my feet are still frozen. But it was wonderful and serene, until it got unbearingly cold. It's apparently 35 degrees, but according to weather.com it feels like 29 (that would be about right). And unfortunately, the heat won't be coming on tonight, so I'll be in my coat and sneakers throughout the evening.

There's this roof down below that developed a pool of water from saturday's rainfall... that pool has now frozen. We could go ice skating if wanted to.

I've been having a fun time, though. I've already gone to the Museum of Natural History, walked through Central Park, had a good evening with friends, and thought about riding a bike around town (idea quickly scratched). Tomorrow, am planning on going 'round Union Square way to Filene's Basement, The Strand, Virgin Megastore... perhaps it'll be market day and I can pick up some goodies. Friday I'm planning on going to the Met, and Kalutzyan's spice shop for loose teas and such (it's such a friggin' highlight; I'm looking forward to it, okay?), and then Saturday... we shall see. I leave Sunday.

Yeah. If it weren't for four adults and a baby (not mine), I'd consider not coming home.

I always say that.

New

Sunday, November 16, 2008

Never sleeps

Been having a great time in New York so far. Weather was inclement yesterday, and this morning began at two o'clock in the afternoon, so things have been a little off, but consistently good. I've already been charmingly drunk twice, and I don't intend on stopping the rest of the time I'm here.

Tomorrow I'll be up at around 10am - it's off to the Museum of Natural History and a walk through Central Park until I hit 86th & Lexington - then it's back to my brother's office for perhaps more Arrested Development (am already on Season 2) and dinner. Tonight, alongside champagne and sidecars at Five Leaves, we had celery and horseradish soup, kale, and beet root salad, and a dish of pomegranate sorbet for dessert. Sometime before I leave I'm going to try the lamb shepherd's pie and perhaps a pomegranate martini. But we'll have to see.

I'm just looking forward to making my legs sore by hitting the pavement excessively tomorrow.

I really wish that I didn't have to go home. But I won't, not after another full 6.5 days, at least.

Thursday, November 13, 2008

Family

My sister from Escondido is so -- I don't know. Please give me license to vent on this one, though.

My sister from Escondido is a piece of work. I'm sure she's nice enough, but she's such a contradiction, such a faux pas beast. I don't know if I'll ever allow myself to care for her much. Unfortunately so as she's sitting not twenty feet away from me right now.

We used to be Jehovah's Witnesses (or rather, I used to be one, about six years ago). We believed in things like The Organization, The Society, The New System - that protective bubble of old white men that shows 'us' the way in which we should go in order to be as pure as possible, the best way in which to better ourselves.

My sister is still one of Jehovah's Witnesses. I can't stand her. It's unfortunate because everytime I think "Jehovah's Witness" I think of her, in the same way that if anyone thinks of any other general low level on which to place another, they will because that's been their experience.

I just feel that she's out to get me with her sharp sugar-coated knives. Do you have family like that?

Stupid bitch. That is all.

I leave for New York tomorrow night. I'm so thrilled.

It's about time for this vacation to begin.

Monday, November 10, 2008

Afterglow

It's been an off few days - not in a horrid sense, just that I've been putting things off pseudo-irresponsibly. In getting lost in the days after the election (a wonderful, wonderful event in watching McCain and Palin relatively disappear from my TV screen), enjoying the weekend - pretty much drinking beer and getting together with family and friends - culminating with Bats Day at Disneyland yesterday (with pictures possibly to come), it was bound to happen - but I'm getting my act together, putting together a review for the Luke Mulholland Band (a very kickass young talent).

Steven had the opportunity of meeting the members of my family who mean the most - sister Jessica, brother-in-law Craig, nephew Matthew, father Michael, brother Joey. The whole experience really meant the world to me, and I'm not lying when I say that the most potent aphrodisiac is how well your significant other gets along with your family - especially when it's an event you never thought would take place due to prior attempts gone wrong. As a result, after two years of dating, my boyfriend got a taste of a rather voracious appetite unearthed from months past. Nothing says thank you quite like many concerted moments of [insert joyful noise here].

I'm leaving for New York this Friday from Burbank airport. I love taking off from there, getting a glimpse of Universal City while watching the lights on the hills alongside the 101 get smaller and smaller, and I await the captain's OK to start flipping through the TV channels. I did a load of shopping this evening after work - sweaters, shoes, toiletries, etc. All I have to secure is a sturdy piece of luggage, tote my cats on over to my folks' house, and work like hell on a take-home statistics exam. This is also the weekend that my sister, brother-in-law, and nephew move to Nebraska. I just don't want them to leave, but the potential of buying a house and raising a family out there is a lot more likely than it is in smoggy, congested Southern California. That's why I have to become filthy rich: so I can put a down payment on a house for all those that I love, so they'll never be forced to move - or ... well, there's this ivy-covered building on a street off of Highland, just north of Franklin, and since I was nineteen I've entertained a wonderful pipe dream that'll never come to fruition. Ah, this mind. It makes room to be a good writer.

All the more reason to get back to working on the CD review I hope to finish by 11pm.

Wednesday, November 5, 2008

You guys? I am so happy. I can't sleep. I have to be up in three hours. Tomorrow's going to suck...

Wait, no it's not. Do you know why?

IT'S FRIGGIN' OBAMA DAY

And in honor of change, morale, and to remedy the vodka drunk tonight, I'll be getting a breakfast burrito to devour in my cubicle. To hell with the diet.

Monday, November 3, 2008

Sunday, November 2, 2008

Twelve days left

You read correctly; twelve more days until I'm on a plane heading out to New York for a week and a half - so so excited. I supposed that my very less-than-thrilled mood has been a gift bestowed upon me by the universe, because I tend to look forward to things so much that once in the moment I tend to not find it at all as interesting as I'd imagined or experienced it to be before. Not just that, but the little day-to-day things that used to take the edge off do maybe a quarter of what they used to do, if that. I really feel that the hugest portion of my life has reduced my role to Glorified Distant Relative - except that I don't have money to remedy the situation, and I don't have time to care (in the corporate sense). "Take care of it your own damned self" is what is perched on my lips at all times, but at the penalty of a sans-severance scenario I wear my employee badge with only mild abhorrence. So to be soon allowed a week-and-a-half without time cards and Monday-thru-Friday frivolity is all I could ever want, at least before Christmas (when at that time I'll be wanting a day trip to the snow, and an external hard drive). The one thing I will look forward to while out in New York will be the spending of hours upon hours in museums, and dinner dates with my brother. Everything other than that will just be a bonus.

In other news, I'm pretty certain that my motherboard is shot. Perfect.

Friday, October 31, 2008

Unfabulous

I have been feeling all shades of off lately. Tired and lacking enthusiasm, mostly. Losing steam. It's been a rather off year. Far from fabulous.

There have been some wonderful moments, of course - but with the switch of the seasons, routine, reflection, and all suchness, things tend to become. . . bland and dull, and uneventful, and aggravating on all sorts of levels. Stagnant. Comparatively humdrum.

It doesn't feel like it's Halloween - but damned I'd be if it stopped me from having a good time. It's the most wonderful time of the year.

Wednesday, October 29, 2008

Higher learning

I love school. Be it history or English or humanities, it tends to offer something that can be taken with a person to shape or redefine the way they view the world or themselves. Even science and math, depending on the application and the professor, can provide that same sort of out within one's mind. I told my dad the other day that the reason why I think the religion I used to be involved with is so against higher education is because they're afraid that people might actually learn something. It came out a bit more harsh (if you will) than I intended, but he found it hilarious. I suppose that's how most religions work, but if you confine yourself to one way of learning, you're confining yourself to one way of thinking, and that's not really healthy.

In history class last night my feelings for voting were reaffirmed this year. Not sure if I've mentioned this before, but as a former Jehovah's Witness, we were not permitted to vote, because since the kingdom of God apparently is not of this world, then neither should "we". But as American citizens, in the past, the only people permitted to vote were those that owned property - because of property tax. In the view then and now, if you pay taxes, you should have a say in how they are spent. Now, many people today don't own property, but they do pay taxes. You pay taxes; I pay taxes, whether we like it or not. So I should be able to vote, as should anyone of any religion. Penalty of excommunication should be a non-issue - but there's fear for you.

I think that's it. We've learned and re-learned lots of things - such as why women would pin up their hair at a certain age (pinning up one's hair was a sign of physical maturity [aka menstruation] and gave men the hint that a woman could be courted, because "if you're old enough to bleed, you're old enough to breed"), as well as -- well, concerning the issue of race... pretty much if we or our family members/ancestors were in the west or along trade routes over the last 400 years, or any place where people intermingled sexually as it were - regardless of ethnicity - we all have some other race in us. It should be OBVIOUS that the color of our skin does not define who we are; our DNA does. You could be the palest shade of white and have African blood in you. I have Irish and Portuguese blood in me. It saddens me that people see only the black, the white, the brown, the yellow, the red, when the quality of the person should be held on esteem, or considered cautiously, etc. They - whoever 'they' was - weren't lying when they said "knowledge is power". Knowledge is power. Knowledge is friggin' hot. Knowledge makes you a life form and not merely something to look at. It's pretty much the only thing that we have that'll be ever-withstanding, so it'd be a shame to keep the blinders on any longer.

Okay. All done.

Happy hump day.

Sunday, October 26, 2008

Weekend update

It only started feeling like the Halloween season after roaming around through Target last night, looking for spare bicycle tubes for today's 60-mile ride - stopping by in the Halloween-y aisle to look for devil horns. It's been an interesting season, all right. I think with the pussy punches thrown by McCain's camp during the election race, and the various global financial corruption/issues and everything (and taking the angry calls as a result of my place-of-day-job's missteps), it's going to be a difficult holiday season. So difficult, especially for those who lost their jobs recently, or not so recently, or who have been looking for work for a longer time than expected. I still plan to enjoy as necessary, or warranted (I'm drawing up a Christmas list for prioritizing as we speak). I didn't celebrate holidays as a kid, but can thoroughly understand why as a 'grown-up': we all need a reason to throw a kick-ass party. From late October to two weeks after the Rose Parade in January, it's a relatively pleasant time. It's probably my favorite time of year.

And for the record: it's not that I don't like John McCain. He's a grandfather figure that I went without as a child due to time and unforeseen occurrence. He might be a great person to learn life lessons from or to listen to as he regales stories about his time in the army - I really mean it - but I don't think he should be our President. Even more so with Palin on the ticket. She's friggin' hot - but that doesn't mean there's much upstairs to benefit the nation. That and the Republican camp (in this election specifically) has been despicable in their role as Fucking Lynch Mob. There is no way in hell that I'm voting for "those ones" - and that's as political as I will get in print.

So yeah. We went on a 60-mile bicycle ride today (57.6 miles, if you want to be specific), from Pasadena to Long Beach. I am tired. For some reason this ride was a lot harder than others of the same length - I'm thinking because of the bike path in particular had a lot of these dips and raises in succession, and it was ah. . . too much. But I like being able to say that I cycled down to the Queen Mary from the foothills. We'll do it again - hell, we'll probably do it to Long Beach and back - but we'll work on it. Today was just enough.

I'll be featuring a strictly-photo post sometime soon.

I hope everyone had themselves a good weekend.

Wednesday, October 22, 2008

Competition

Can't do without

chai tea bags, Post-It notes, Notepad docs, flip-flops,
lip gloss, video iPod, black sweater, eyeliner,
cell phone, the internet (unfortunately)
-----------

I'm on a slight diet due to my visit to New York in a little over three weeks. My intention is to splurge on sweaters and jeans, etc., since I haven't gone excessive-clothes-shopping for myself in about two years. I figure it'll be a good excuse since November weather is cooler there than in Los Angeles. Even though my body will be wrapped up, I want to look my best. So...

I didn't want to exercise this morning. But I have this sort of competition within myself against others, or no one, or myself, just so I can get through that hour - efficiently, moving with purpose. (By the way, it irks me so when people don't move with a purpose; what a waste of energy.) I've been doing so for the last almost-three weeks and I can fit into slacks from about two years ago. Which I'll be giving to the Good Will because they're no longer my style. I don't know how much more weight I can lose in three weeks, but I'm willing to find out once I get there.

Ah, vanity, however slight. Maybe it really is some sort of subtle-in-perversion competition, because I'm convinced that everyone not only wants to look good, but wants to look as good as - if not better - than her, or him, or him-that-looks-like-a-her, or Androgynous Annie.

I've been concerned with looks since I was about 14, when I became conscious of my hips. Control was hard to come by when, as a teen, life was freakishly Jehovah-centric. It's such a relief to be in a healthier place, physically and mentally - despite still wanting to be perfect (but don't we all?).

Hmm, how to bridge...

I'm going to see my nephew this evening. God, I love him. The power of Cute compels me.

Sunday, October 19, 2008

Even keel

I don't want to jinx myself, but I haven't been feeling as crappy as I had been earlier this year. I think it has to do with acceptance that things are never going to be perfect, and that I'm not always going to be happy. Like any other emotion, you can't always be mad, nor can you always be sad. If you're happy all the time, then you're lying to yourself. It's not possible if you're over the age of five.

I've decided to settle on contentment. Feeling okay. That is a constant I can deal with. There might not be enough money in the bank account until Friday. I might not be able to buy flowers on Sunday. No sugar for my oatmeal. No happy ending despite 20 minutes of effort. The bus, 15 minutes late. My toast, burned and black. Can't change it. Life isn't always going to be spectacular. Can only move on to the next moment, drama-free. I won't always feel this neutral, but I'm a long way from how I've been feeling the last five years. Probably the best I'll ever be.

The weekend went nicely. Didn't do much; just watched movies, toured my boyfriend's new neighborhood (very family-oriented, with plenty of schools, parks, and homes), went for a bicycle ride this afternoon, drank much much tequila with limes & tangelos, and got some writing done. Made it back in LA not much after 9:00 pm, with plenty of time to get some sleep before the workweek starts, and to study for an essay exam on Tuesday. So ideal, this middle ground. It's all I could want at this moment.

Friday, October 17, 2008

Verve

I am wondering if there is something wrong with me, in that I'll leave my boyfriend downstairs watching August Rush so I can dork around on the internet - namely YouTube, so as to watch clips of the most disturbing scenes of the Saw movies.

I've no faith in frou frou.

I had quite possibly the best sushi in Los Angeles tonight, shared over a bottle of Kurosawa sake.

This weekend is already exceeding expectations.

(expect nothing; leave happy)

Wednesday, October 15, 2008

Ambiguous by nature

If I could recommend having anything at your disposal as a writer it would be

(at all times)
a writing instrument
something to write on (post-its, if not receipt or business card)
cell phone
iPod (video or otherwise)
audio recorder

(when on assignment)
digital camera
comfortable shoes
a sweater

I'm not the best at anything, but in lieu of ginko biloba, the aforementioned help me to not misplace my mind, or a track on a setlist, or some quip that that beholds the potential of relevant interjection.

I coasted along today. Normalcy has been lacking due to the fires in the Valley, but I'm glad that the worst is over. The final Presidential debate has taken place. I am registered and all at once proud to be an American. This week I've been taking each day one by one, instead of bunching Mon.-Fri. into one long unsatisfying cock tease - and so far it has worked out to my psyche's advantage. I can also assume that having gotten five-plus hours of sleep each night has improved my reactions to others' idiosyncrasies. Tomorrow I've got to get up early to finish a review, work, school, and head home by 11pm. Another day in the life.

And as for the weekend - I have no idea what lies in store, but I hope very much that it doesn't involve any exposed nerves. This I will always work on.

Sunday, October 12, 2008

Random

Yesterday morning, I went on what was expected to be a nice bicycle ride - length unknown - after not having been on my bicycle for a good two months. We ended up riding 51 miles - past ABC Studios, to Griffith Park, and back. This year I did a half-century ride to the city of Paramount and back (to Griffith Park). But I trained for that for a few weeks (I'd been riding my bike to work every day for a year, so it wasn't extensive). I was so friggin' proud of self yesterday - but man, oh man, that was unexpected. . . so much that I believe the most exercise I'll make myself do today is waltz on down to the farmers market before noon.

This might sound really horrible, but I've found in the last - I don't know, 23 years, that whether glossed-up or paparazzi-laden, Los Angeles really isn't anything special. Not that it isn't interesting and with a vast array of attitudes and things to do, but the portrayal of it isn't what it is, really. I'm sure everyone knows that. I hope most people do.

When people come here from out of town, I can understand being a little thrilled. But I kind of liken it to when I go to New York - so I haven't done the tours or the whatever out-of-towners are supposed to do, but I don't think I've ever really been that kind of person. I'd be happy touring the museums and parks and spice shops, or going into the basement of some foodie shop in Chinatown to peruse what dishware I can add to my collection of well-made stuff I don't need. I just would rather do that that feel like I must eat here, or must do that. That's what multiple trips are for. Yeah, I'm a brat.

Next month, I plan on touring mostly museums, since it'll be cold and I might not want to be outdoors so much. I also plan on trying different hot spots, hot foods, or being amongst hot bodies in wherever bodies tend to migrate in the fall. It's the plan; it might not be carried out exactly. But most blueprints require some alteration.

Four-and-a-half more weeks to go.

Thursday, October 9, 2008

Atony

I tried my hand at fasting today for Yom Kippur. My boyfriend's Jewish, and to be honest it's because of him that I'm aiming to observe holidays outside of my culture, because one of these days I'd like to consider myself a citizen of the world - more so than I do now - and relate to others outside of my non-traditional Christian upbringing. That said, I made it through with two cups of tea, broth, and water with electrolytes - 'cause I'm not converted yet. Or ever. I'm not to belong to one faith anymore. I'll elaborate on such things eventually, but for now, let's reflect.

I was staaarrrving this afternoon. Like, light-headed and blissfully delusional. I so wanted sushi. But stress, where was stress today? Not in the vicinity by any means. I might as well have been buzzed on [insert downer here].

But after a while I forgot about the physical and thought about the things I'm sorry for - like withholding food for vanity's sake. Holding onto what I can't change. Envying things, thinking ill against people. Jumping to conclusions. Shooing my cats away. Not calling when I say I will. Half-assing things. Disappearing. Among other things. At the end of the day I wanted to be a better person. Pretty much that's how I started the day, too. I told my boyfriend this in the evening while heading to statistics class. He said, "Yep, that's about how you should feel".

Success.

Tuesday, October 7, 2008

Man versus man

Ah. It has been a while. What's been going on?

The state of our union, actually. In less than a month, it will [hopefully] be decided who out next President is. I'm really scared. Well, maybe nervous is more like it. In either case, there will be extreme emotion, whoever is elected. Extreme joy, or ever-dread. My friends and I are already planning a wake (for the death of our nation) should our hopeful not be elected. It will be a potluck. Consider this your invitation.

But if he wins (and of this I sincerely hope) - we're all going to Disneyland!!

Tuesday, September 30, 2008

Long day

Indeed. With the debate last Friday, moving Steven into his new place this past weekend, work, school, brain-storming, and attempting to get as reasonable an amount of sleep as possible, it's just been one long unending day. it's felt this way pretty much for the past two weeks. I think I need a vacation. In about a month and a half, my request will have been met. I can be patient.

I called my folks this evening on the way home from class, to thank them for their support in the last few years, but especially during a time when things had gone particularly badly in my corner of the world. I was reading through some of my old LiveJournal entries circa winter 2004 and it was just ... a horrible place to have been in. Without saying much, I can sum up things by stating that I was left for dead, emotionally and [as a result] physically. But my parents helped me out - fed me, letting me sleep on their couch for a few weeks, and giving me reason to consider smiling again. I try to keep buried how I felt at the time, how skinny I was, and how it never seemed to stop raining. Sometimes it feels like it's still raining, but it's not pouring like it was. Dare I say, I've become more authentic, because as much as I don't say so I suppose I've plenty to be proud of as a functioning human being. I'm on my way to university; I'm managing funds; I'm gaining experience in writing, all thanks to those few weeks of intervention. Those things, including and because of family, are most important. So I thanked them for being there, when it was most needed, and always. I figured why not let them know. We're only given this moment; it's up to us what we do with it.

Huge sidepoint that was. In other news, while watching the "Morning Inspiration" show on BET Sunday morning, the preacher was telling the congregation how we must 'fight temptation, talk to the Lord so we can fight temptation'. . . but you know something; I haven't dealt with temptation of that sort since I stopped going to church a few years ago. Now maybe this is just me, but when I was a church-goer I would panic about falling into temptation; "get behind me, Satan", have mercy. Now, temptation to me is fighting the urge to have a piece of saltwater taffy before bed.

Ah, so. Life's going okay. Did I mention that I'm ready for a vacation?

Wednesday, September 24, 2008

Nomad

12:30 am came so quickly.

It's been a good week so far. I kind of feel like I've been living out of a track and field bag since Sunday, and I think I know why. . . it's because I have been. This weekend I was helping my boyfriend get some things together for his big move this week (from San Clemente to La Verne). Last night, with the same bag, I headed to my folks' house to make pumpkin pies in celebration of the first day of autumn (you're here, darling; I've missed you so). Today, I still had the bag with me, having taken it to class, heading home with it at about 11:00 pm. And I can tell you this - tomorrow night I'll be taking it to my sister's in Agoura Hills for the evening; Thursday it will accompany me again to late-night schooling; and Friday afternoon I'll be taking it back down to San Clemente to get everything situated on Steven's end. Then I'll be back in Los Angeles on Sunday, trusty bag still in tow.

I like being everywhere, in a way. It's nice to be on the go. Tonight is one of two evenings that I'll be sleeping in my bed this week. But I wouldn't have it any other way, for now.

As you can probably see in the upper left-hand corner, I made a blog as a sort of archive for the Transit LA posts I wrote with Cityzine. Since transitioning over to BeatCrave.com has me focusing primarily on music (per my request), I thought it would be nice to keep some news and upcoming events in relation to transportation in Los Angeles. It was fun writing it, and I don't want to not, know what I'm sayin'? So feel free to check there every week or so, should the urge strike you.

Okay, I really don't know why I'm still up. . . I was going to treat myself to going to sleep at 11:30 pm for having gotten home from class earlier than expected. Guess my brain had other plans.

Saturday, September 20, 2008

Paper faces on parade

tingly green-mint showers
getting my smile back
securing the apartment
heading down the 5
over-sized sunglasses
thoughts about BeatCrave
clouds over the ocean
and avenida del mar
domestic understanding
pseudo-rejection
ohnotheydidnt
fuck yes, i did

Don't wake me

Yesterday was a good day. The afternoon was even better, although I can't help but feel that when I actually attempt to convey a wonder of mine with honesty that I've botched the evenflow of whatever, and ever; amen. I'm so critical of self. I've traded a lot of bad self-views and perceptions for good ones, but that one in particular I can't shake. When it comes to audible words, my body, my skin, and all-around type in relative comparison - eh - confidence wanes. But I have a feeling I'm far from the exception.

In an exercise involving years of acquired ambiguity, I'll just say that it's hard to not keep self from feeling something that you would love to dive head-first into, even if it would last just a moment. Not out of any respect to our society's view of the conventional relationship, by any means, but in relation to individuals and their views. My track history shows that I give more glory to people/places than should be given, so it's more than likely an indelible trait I won't get rid of in this lifetime. But at least i recognize that's all it is.

So, I slept in until 7:30 am.
I don't have to be anywhere until 11:30.

That - spells relief.

Thursday, September 18, 2008

Good to go

This week has been something else. Internal, external stuff. I've been busy with everything. But I've gotten so much done.

Last night, the night before, and I believe even the night before that, I was so tired that I must have drifted out of consciousness without falling asleep; it felt like I was drunk without a thing having passed my lips (except for Fresca). It's just been an off week, but it's almost over. I don't know if I've been more relieved.

Tomorrow afternoon I'm thinking of having lunch with my ex/good friend, who I don't refer to as an ex except when emphasizing that it's possible for one to be good friends with someone they used to have rampant sex with (there was a relationship somewhere in there, as well). What a shame and waste of invested time, to throw someone away because of a break-up, merely because of the world's trend in doing so. Last time I heard, break-ups aren't synonymous with death, so unless the other person was so misguided that they took on the role of asshole without realization, I don't have a verifiable reason to give someone up just because a dynamic has changed.

Not much to report other than I'm doing pretty well in school, and the writing is going well. And I'm welcoming sleep with open arms, like, right now. The rest of the weekend will be busy - my squid's last in San Clemente - but I'm looking forward to sleeping in on Saturday. Maybe we'll even get to sleep in Sunday. Oh God, just the thought of sleep is right up there with food and all other physical satiations. I never understood it until now - but I'm always saying that about something.

Sunday, September 14, 2008

Happy place

Friday night late-night corporate breakfast
Saturday housewarming party on the lawn
catching the Gold Line at Del Mar to Union Station, to Los Feliz
a few-hours-long spoken word/poetry reading on Vermont
red, red wine, the first time since Parsons in '06
veggie royale at Fred 62
cheesecake, "Barrack is Beautiful", "Rehab is for Quitters"
lights off, love on
one review down, three to go
brunch, with him and his best-laid plans
anticipating afternoon sleep

Saturday, September 13, 2008

Bare necessities

Last night found us driving through Beverly Hills on Wilshire towards the El Rey. I don't think I've consciously been through the city before, especially when driving next to a [rented] Rolls Royce. For how beautiful and rich it was (in the way of the green, not so much diversity), I found it strange how I felt so alien in a neighborhood that exists in my backyard. My boyfriend - a native New Yorker - and I - a native Angeleno - met at the middle of the same conversational bridge: that as much as Los Angeles boasts being big city, it really consists of little cities scattered about that don't really belong together. There's no real consistency. In New York, at least my experience has been that whether you're on Park Avenue, in the Village, Gramercy Park; or Union Square, Williamsburg, or any other borough in Brooklyn, you've the opportunity to feel connected to every mile of the city. Again, that's been my experience. I can get there. I can't really get to Beverly Hills or Santa Monica from my neck of the woods, and to be honest, outside of lunching with a friend, I don't know if I'd want to.

At least there's going to be some catching up in the way of public transportation in the city. The bigger the population is getting, it only makes sense. For every person to own a car and further congest the streets/damage the climate is a ridiculous notion. I'll attempt to base future transit posts on this in the weeks to come.

Anyway, we saw Brooke Fraser at the El Rey last night. She was something beautiful. I think I'll be getting her album (Albertine) off of iTunes. Do check her out.

We're going to a poetry event type deal at Skylight Books this evening (Milo Martin and the Utopian Nihilists), and were thinking that maybe, just maybe we could hit up Fred 62 afterwards. I mapped the locales. They're 213 feet away from each other.

It's a freakin' go!

Friday, September 12, 2008

Lazing on a Friday afternoon

I enjoy getting Fridays off early from my day job. If it were any other day but today, I'd have nearly two hours left of playing corporate Mother, makeshift therapist, and all-sorts defuser to anyone who reached my extension. I was talking with my friend last night [for a longer time than realized] about how I need to have faith in myself to feel better about the things that stress me out. We both agreed that I need to learn how to relax. I know how to relax, but my horoscope from Free Will Astrology advised me of something somewhat interesting:

"Writing in the magazine sub-TERRAIN, John More makes the following declaration: "Captains of industry, great generals, artists of genius, even politicians, are often just people who have discovered that alcohol can enable them to make economic, tactical, creative, or political decisions whose implications would paralyze a sober individual." Your assignment, Capricorn, is to find an alcohol-free way to make such a decision. It's time for you to summon visionary courage from your soul, not from a bottle, as you catalyze complex blessings that will ripple through your future for a long time."


Good points, but blah blah blah. I don't drink a lot. A two-liter of Stoli lasts me a good two months. I think the sole reason I drink is to slow my mind the fuck down. I'm analyzing and wondering at every moment of the day: "Hmm, coffee stains on my desk"; "If I have chocolate pudding at 3pm, then I must say no to soy ice cream later on"; "Why did I buy this InTouch?"; "Must clean and exercise before Steven comes over"; "Must do some writing this weekend"; "Shit, I didn't clean out the cat box" - etc., et cetera, and so on. At the end of my day I've done everything that I can fit in - but somehow my brain won't shut up.

Therefore: music, white noise machine, television, or Stoli in moderation. I'm a lush with most things but downers.

So that's my brain, in a braincase nutshell. The same brain that is anticipating Halloweentime at Disneyland on September 26th. I am so excited. While walking from work to class yesterday afternoon I waltzed on by the to-be pumpkin patch, whose yellow leaves will soon lead to bright orange pumpkins before long. What would Linus do?

Reminds me: last year I watching It's the Great Pumpkin, Charlie Brown while at the Bob Hope Airport heading to New York. I'm due for another trip in two months; best purchase a ticket before time inches closer and prices inch higher. Autumn in New York - I don't think there's a better time.

It takes very little to please the hell out of me.

Tuesday, September 9, 2008

Vacate the premises

My cat is giving my left leg a massage. I think she knows it's been a rough year on the corporate front. A lot of changes mean a lot of mental exercises. And goodness knows we all need a vacation, which is why I'll be spending a week in New York, mid-November.

My friend Duane is leaving for Bangkok this Saturday. This Saturday, for a week. I am so excited for him, but at the same time. . . I am so stinkin' jealous.

Monday, September 8, 2008

Red

Day job, school, night job, social life, love life, family life. Those are the priorities. The three towards the end often switch order; actually, they can be easily jumbled into one ball of interaction and pseudo-joy. Those are the hardest to attend to at the moment. I miss my dad. And my mom. These days, I talk to them separately, on different phones - with him, his cell phone; with her, her business phone. It's like they're physically separated, but they're not. Only emotionally. That's worse, actually. But it has been thirty years.

My boyfriend and I talked last night. After two years of whatever we've been doing, I asked if he'd consider marrying me. If it was a possibility. Not that I want to get married now; I'm not ready. I'm to get my bachelor's degree before I do anything else. But I kind of needed to know - I likened it to taking on an entry-level job with the possibility of promotion, moving within the company. If that's not even a possibility, then you wouldn't stick around long. Enough to make some money and save. But not long enough to become attached, so you could move on to the next opportunity. It sucks if you love the location, or how your chair gives you the support it needs. But without the possibility, it would be better to move on.

So at least I was made more certain of the possibility.

So, social/love/family life. I can't wait for the moment where I'll have the time to take it all in and enjoy it, to friggin' breathe - or to at least feel that my eight-to-five is being put to good use along the terms of my perspective outside of obvious monetary dependancy. But I realized a long time ago that in order to fuel our own dreams, we might have to fuel someone else's for a while.

As the days go by, again I must mention - October is just around the corner. My absolute favorite time of year. Sweaters and pumpkins, pumpkin pie and colored leaves. Cool with the warm. Another autumn. Another year.

Saturday, September 6, 2008

When September ends

I am looking forward to October already. October is pretty much where every day is a holiday. I LOVE October. But September isn't bad so far. We are coming up swiftly upon autumn. The school year has started, meaning I'm to be a lot more busy than usual, but that's a good thing. The more busy, the more I'm moving forward and getting things done. The more I'm building my portfolio and getting experience.

I had my review at work. I've been in my current position for a year, with the company for two. I don't know how much of a raise I'll be getting, but any raise is a good one these days - any day. As long as there is school to pay for, any 'extra' money is a lifesaver until I win the Lottery.

My boyfriend and I buy Lottery tickets maybe once every two weeks. Just because the idea of winning is such a fun feeling, even if you don't win. Just imagining what you would do with all that cash is, well - it's enough to keep going. Not because of the Lottery, I mean. Because of your own hard work and the chance that you might be able to make that happen for yourself. That you can retire perhaps when you're 55. That you could buy that six-plex by the beach and have your friends rent it in the summer or winter. That gas wouldn't be an issue because you'd have a private helicopter or something ridiculous. It's just a pipe dream, but it's fun to think about. If I won, I would make school and writing my full-time job. I would 'work' because I 'wanted to', not because I had to. I'd get a few cosmetic touch-ups (wouldn't we all?). I'd buy a Birkin bag - after I'd freakin' save. I've gotten really great at that, and have built up good credit, too. I'd like to think I wouldn't go mad.

It's just a fun idea to toss around. Living in this capitalistic society, it's bound to happen.

So life's been good. I'm always looking for something better.

But the established goodness is working out fine for now.

Saturday, August 30, 2008

A warm gun

Steven is taking a nap. I was reading The Shining and am working on Monday's transit article (running out of ideas). He was watching a western, but I've since flipped it to I Love Lucy.

Last night, we had Mongolian BBQ in Pasadena, went to Disneyland, and played 20 Questions while waiting in line for Space Mountain.

This morning we had lox & cream cheese, and read the newspaper over breakfast.

I don't remember the exact date, but I remember that we met on the bridge of August and September, and he's the only one so far who hasn't thrown away my heart.

Our relationship is two years along.

(Happy Anniversary)

Sunday, August 24, 2008

We're alive

It's so interesting the things you can realize as time passes on. Years, months, weeks, days, minutes, seconds. Seriously. Time is a gift in that - should the beholder be open enough - it allows perspective and knowledge and understanding to kick in. It allows change to occur, people to grow up, hands to be thrown up and feet to keep walking in the opposite direction. It's a gift to be fully appreciated, or so it has been in the last few years. No matter how raw emotion can still be after dead and gone past situations, I am thankful for time. By way of experience (work, relationships, education, family), I have gotten better with time. People in my life bearing closed personages have come and gone. This generation, space, and time have allowed me to be and remain open, so I can only assume I will get even better.

This weekend has been fulfilling. With it being work-free, I was able to relax, to sleep off pervading moods, to hydrate, energize, and be for a while. The best part so far has to have been - not my friends simulating how to use the exercise ball in our living room for better gravitational positioning, if you know what I mean, but - finally getting my nephew's occular attention, as he loves to take in everything visually. This evening he stared at me with his deep, dark brown eyes, wide and clear, expecting more funny faces and wriggling of my eyebrows. He smiled at me. Totally and fully.

His reaction has attributed to one of the best feelings in my world so far.

Saturday, August 23, 2008

Bedroom banter

"Whatcha doin'?"
"Nothin'." [pause] "Are you naked?"
"No, I'm wearing boxers."
"Oh, okay." [pause] "You smell nice."
"Thanks."

Friday, August 22, 2008

Support

My brother[ and CO.]'s website is outstanding. Do yourself a service and check it out.

This weekend I don't have to be concerned with much in relation to writing, since the site is expanding and I just buckled down and got Friday's and Monday's posts in by last night. I love writing, don't get me wrong. It makes the nine-to-five bullshit obsolete and therefore life is rich. In fact I'll again be listening to Citizen Savant's EP and will be jotting some descriptive phrases tomorrow when I get home from the dentist, but being done with the scheduled bits is a good feeling. Everyone needs a weekend off.

I arranged to have next Thursday off from work. I'm so happy about that.

Friday will be a half-day, and during that long weekend, my undefined boyfriend and I will be together in celebration of our two-year anniversary. I think we'll stay in bed and watch television.

Tuesday, August 19, 2008

broken heartstrings

i want that life in the hills. the feeling that everything is a-ok. that there's silence and calm in the house. that there's love. i want to see the sun set from above franklin. i want to feel the cool of dark wood-paneled floors beneath the soles of my feet. i want to feel safe. i want to breathe and sigh, and feel alive.

that is for sure a creepy feeling. i felt it roll down to the tips of my toes.

maybe i'd better let up a little bit.

Monday, August 18, 2008

Musings

Tonight means leftover Chinese food, Fresca, and Stoli. Summer vacation is still upon us in the Valley, and I am thrilled. I'm currently on the waiting list for a statistics and history class this fall, and hopefully will get into an online political science class, which - when completed - will mean onward to university in the spring! I have worked so hard . . . I haven't realized how much until now. I won't realize just how hard I've worked until I get my bachelor's degree.

This weekend was unexpected. It has been such a questionable few weeks, where I've just wanted to stay in bed and not go anywhere. The overcast mornings just begged me to sleep in, to stay inside and write, but the way my funds have been stretched, I can't afford giving in to anything but punching the time clock. I suppose all emotional somersaults have been worth it because this weekend was what my ailing mood needed. Enough reality to jolt my senses, but enough good times to help me see that life with all its pushes, pulls, and fuckery is pretty damned good the way it is.

There was plenty of riding on the motorcycle with my undeclared boyfriend. When we were zooming down the 405 past the Getty Center Friday night, there was this eerie sort of fog that filled the space between the mountains, and the moon was pale and shining. I was so exhausted; I felt like I was drunk. Thankfully, I didn't fall off (I'll never intend to), but it was nice to be out there. It was nice to see Kevin, looking gorgeous. And it was nice to have the EP to listen to (and prep for review), and even better? It was awesome peeling off my jeans to fall into bed.

Saturday's party was in an area I'd been before a while ago, with someone I've been missing a lot, thinking about a lot, somewhat craving a lot. It's funny how time and space does that. An evil tease it is, the cruel reality that such a blissful existence is no more. But now it's filled by people and situations that wouldn't have existed if I didn't grow a hell of a lot. So. The party. Fabulous. Thrown by Kev and his lover in a cute little space that lets in a lot of light. Cute little yard. Thanks to raised endorphins and a couple of beers I was able to let go and be Lindsey for a while. It felt so good, and hell was it ever a trip to run into a somebody I'd watched for years as a kid witness of Jehovah growing up. I had the hugest crush on him as a youngster, but I wanted a piece of everyone then. Particularly the wide-eyed, perfect-coiffed boy with an in-between build that suggested a soft hasrhness that could only attract a to-be fag hag (aka me). It was fun, though. It's interesting to see where life takes you and those you know, if you let time work and you don't rule out any possibilities. So. As the would-be harvest moon started to rise and the torches burned on, we went home. I worked. Then we slept.

And then I woke up, torn as to whether I should do the elliptical trainer, or ride the bicycle, or go for a walk. I walked a good five miles, by the busway, through the park, by the lake, and to the farmers market. Plums, white peaches, yellow nectarines for $2 a pound. "Apriums" (bespeckled plum/apricot hybrids) for free, for being inquisitive. Reddened sunflowers for N's birthday. A quick shower in lemon-infused suds, and lunch lunch LUNCH at Greenblatt's. Love. An intense feeling-up, making-out, to-the-brink session with Hollywood. Then back home, for a nap in a pool of sun shining through red shades, drawn.

Writing. Dinner. Loving past midnight. Waking up at 5:00 to his arms around me. Listening to him shower as I drifted in and out of consciousness. This morning he stood above me in his dress shirt, and for a moment I pictured pulling him down by the tie and back into bed with me, but I had to get up to go to work. He left. I worked. I'm home.

And I'm drinking my Fresca.

Friday, August 15, 2008

I'm the virus

So apparently the cure for a hangover involves more than coffee and water. Today's cure involved

dark-tinted rose-colored sunglasses
not listening to the iPod during the morning commute
a breakfast burrito (hashbrowns, eggs tomatoes, sour cream, etc.)
a liter of water
and leaning far, far back in the office chair with my slip-ons off

I drank that liter this morning and have yet to use the facilities. My liver must want out, but I'm feeling worlds better than when I woke up this morning. Now I can go back to being torn between seeing Pineapple Express or going to the grocery store after I escape from work at 1:00 pm.

Thank Buddha the weekend is almost here. We'll be seeing Citizen Savant at The Mint tonight. I wish that Fred 62 was on the way. Perhaps with a little prodding, I can make it so. . .

Thursday, August 14, 2008

Socks knocked off

Being quoted at part of the media is probably one of the craziest feelings in the world.

    International Dance Academy Hollywood's MySpace
    Aug 1 2008 10:31 AM

    QUOTES FROM THE ARTICLE REGARDING THE SUCCESS OF THE GRAND OPENING PARTY PUBLISHED ON WWW. LA. CITYZINE. COM

    July 29th, 2008 Written by: Lindsey
    “…between Highland and McCadden Place, it is conveniently accessible to those looking for it.”
    “If Heaven were a dance studio, this would be the place.”
    “…it is easily a place that any burgeoning talent could call home.”
    “…IDA has been established for dance students from all walks, encouraging positivity and diversity within the dance community.”
    “Classes at IDA currently range from hip-hop and jazz to ballet and samba, taught by a staff mainly of professional choreographers, many who have worked with some of the hottest modern acts around.”
    “…dance is a celebration of life. International Dance Academy has been built upon such a foundation…”
    “Entertaining and to the brim with feel-goodness and camaraderie, it certainly was a party no one - and I mean no one - wanted to quit.”
    “…, the International Dance Academy prides itself in being a company for and by the dancers.
    “Truly the best quality about it is its human quality, from the president and the instructors’ right down to the students …”
    www. la. cityzine. com
    http://www. la. cityzine. com/2008/07/29/grand-opening-international-dance-academy-hollywood/#more-9860


That's totally what I get for dorking around close to midnight on a Thursday, because I can't sleep and I'm finishing up a post for Friday.

It's only been three months, though. A very generous start. I hope to be writing (and to keep improving) until there are no more BIC pens left.

(happy dance)

Tuesday, August 12, 2008

Preoccupied

I usually check my work messages every morning, but I guess I haven't checked my cell messages in a while, which is probably why there were sixteen messages waiting for me to listen to. Sixteen. I hate voicemail, really. And I've not been wanting to take calls, but it's probably best that I learn to like it.

My mood has been pinched. I've been feeling bleh about things like karma, other people, and the future. I suppose everyone feels that way. I've got more important things to think about, like writing, keeping in contact with people, networking, or re-filling my birth control for the year. . . which I might want to do today, actually.

Summertime isn't a particularly pleasurable time for me, unless parts of it are spent by the shore. On the other hand, summertime means that autumn is approaching, autumn always being absolute heaven. Three months of splendor. I saw ads posted for the Halloween Fright Fair that my college has every year - hella expensive, but the pumpkin patch and corn field is nice to ride by on the bicycle. Being in New York last year for the Halloween parade was a scream, the air and the color, and innumerable jack o'lanterns on stoops and in windows was so damned nice. I feel alive when the prospect of dead things scampering around presents itself each year. That's the kind of childish fantasy I can contend with.

So looking forward to that makes things okay for now. It's still summertime, but I think we're all anticipating the autumn nights, a harvest moon; an 11:30pm viewing of The Nightmare Before Christmas on Hollywood Blvd. . . baking pumpkin pies all season. Orange candles, candy corn, and a flight to New York in November.

Summertime can totally take a flying leap off of my calendar.

Sunday, August 10, 2008

Morning

I walked out onto the balcony at about 8:30, looked to my left, and saw the ocean. Bright blue beneath the sky. Temperature was perfect.

I will be out from under this roof in a bit.

I am not to ever get tired of the Pacific, under penalty of disenchantment.

Thursday, August 7, 2008

No kidding

On the bus ride in to work I found myself looking forward to the weekend. Tomorrow at a little after 5:00 pm, I'll be south-bound on a Pacific Surfliner to spend said weekend with my boyfriend, who will soon be moving from the shore to the foothills to be closer to work. Until then, waking up to a misty marine layer on Saturday and Sunday mornings is more than enough prize to behold at the end of the week.

We all need a little something. Daily somethings, for instance: sunlight picking up the green in a new leaf; the sound of nothing; a hot shower; an apropos text message. Good sushi for lunch, mango milk chews after 2:00 pm, green tea boba on the weekends. Et cetera.

The best things in life are free, yes. I truly believe there are plenty of delights that money can't buy. Still, it won't kill me to have a twenty in the event that I'm wrong.

Wednesday, August 6, 2008

Those summer nights

Today: not all the coffee in the world was able to cut through the fact I was not to think my own thoughts for eight hours (other than "Oh God, please make it stop"), at all.

This evening: I had made advance plans to have the rear wheel of my road bike repaired by my younger brother and his fixie friend , but my mood was in a sucky place. Nothing sounded better than ordering in orange chicken & steamed rice, and catching up on Swingtown. When I got home, though, I readied self for company -and as a result, the rear wheel is fixed. As payment I took brother and friend out to dinner and gave them bus fare for the ride home, despite personal, predicted bi-monthly dwindling of funds.

Having my bicycle fixed is the best thing to have happened lately, as riding it every day tends to be as beneficial to my mood as sex. With both now functioning and operational, the rest of the day doesn't really stand a chance.

Tuesday, August 5, 2008

Introduction?

Hi, my name is Lindsey. I've been blogging on and off for about six years, via this module, and most recently MySpace.

I am currently writing somewhat regularly for the public, which is what I've been encouraged to do for a long time. I'm still honing my talent, but I'm at least knowledgable of that talent - and you know what they say about knowledge and power. It's a great feeling to have my writing skimmed over, if not yet read in full.

So, upon realization of said supposed talent, I figured that I might want to start using upper-cased letters. I love lower-cased letters, though. Lower-cased is more casual and allows room for more interpretation, but I can understand how it can make one think that the author is lesser than their years. So here we are trying something a little bit different.

Life as of late is as follows: I work and go to school full-time, which takes up most of my time and energy. I am a sister, an aunt, a lover, and a friend. 2008 has been an okay year so far. I have met interesting people, and at the same time have cultivated and maintained rich friendships. I spend my free time daydreaming or thinking of things to write. I prefer to have some sort of napkin or Post-It in my purse at all times. I prefer a thesaurus to a dictionary. I love words; because of this, I have a burning desire to travel to each of our earth's continents, to smell its air, delve in the cultures, to fall in love with some city I'll never want to leave. I'm sure it will make an interesting screenplay.

If in dire need of something to read, please head to this blog, or back from whence you came. Rest assured that there's enough meat laid out for the vultures to pick at. After which, please allow enough time to pass, to allow room for more verbage, and for my digital camera to arrive - after which I truly believe that things will flourish more seamlessly with the aid of much color.